OH Tea Party ME!
by Gerard Leone, Penn '07
(Due to the content of the poem, it has been assumed that the typos are intentional—every last one of them. - Ed.)
Where is the TRUTH America?
Where is the Truth Moose America?
Where is the Silly Goose America?
WASHINGTON- The truth moose comes from the country
And dies stabbed by Masonic Pentagrams Inscribed into Capital Map
BY FRENCH PEOPLE
Meanwhile the Silly Goose comes from Harvard
And lays golden eggs that are not golden eggs but chocolate eggs in gold foil
Which is not even American-style chocolate
But Turkish Delight which comes from the Narnia Books
But it’s Turkish so its MUSLIM!
WHY DO YOU LET YOUR GOOSE KILL YOUR MOOSE AMERICA?
Where is the Youth in America?
When we were kids there was no health care
SO WHERE IS THE YOUTH, America?
Where are bobby socks and the FONZ and Lawrence Welk and Armless Thaldomide Babies
There was no sickness, even when I was sick there was no sickness, that wasn’t sickness
That was Cancer, but not CANCER—Which is like a gay guy looking at you in the shower
That is cancer, eternal cancer, and how he takes care of his body
CANCER—AWFUL CANCER—the gays in their tight jeans which hug their buttockses
THE FONZ, THE YOUTH, AMERICA?
THE FONZ does not need Healthcare
Who needs healthcare? The Youth in Asia
But the youth in asia is euthanasia
ASIA YOUTH, KILLS AMERICANS
THEY ARE GOING TO KILL AMERICANS
The Roof AMERICA
THE ROOF, THE ROOF, America
It’s on FIRE
Because there’s a shooter on the ROOF AMERICA
and he’s taking aim because it hot on a roof that’s on fire
I AM ON FIRE, oo oooh oooh I’m on fire
Hey little girl is your daddy home
Did he go and leave you all alone because he’s fighting the Fire in America?
AMERICA YOU ARE ON FIRE
A fire that burns inside like heart burn
And itches like a hemorrhoid...buttockses that burn in the night
Like ass lanterns in the dark BURN ASS LANTERN
SHOW ME the roof that burns but does not burn
The books that burn but do not burn with GOD
Give me a book depository that will save me
A book depository filled with old copies of
The road to serfdom and vhs cassettes of FREE TO CHOOSE
Rose and Milty Freidman were bald, but she was on FIRE
FIRE FOR AMERICA
Not like Hayek who was an Austrian Aristocrat
We do not need Aristocrats in America
NO QUEENS NO SIRES
NO phds and Esquires
FIRE FIRE FIRE AMERICA- FIRE THE PRESIDENT FIRE AT THE PRESIDENT FIRE THE LIAR PRESIDENT LIAR LIAR MIRE CHOIR ASS LANTERN AMERICA
The COUTH, America
It’s a French word
FRANCE IS NOT AMERICA
AMERICA IS AMERICA
FRANCE IS ONE LETTER AWAY FROM CANCER
FRANCER- no its two additional letters the C and the R AT THE END and subtract the F and the R
so, really it’s minus two plus two it comes out even
FRANCE IS CANCER
Couth? America? You want to be couth? Like the gay guys in France?
With their galois and the jeans so tight
And the gyrating IT'S NOT SAFE AMERICA
They are circling, the French hawk is circling the eagle’s nest America
The gay hawk, they gyrate, in the widening gyre
They can’t hear the hunter’s call NOBODY CAN HEAR YOUR BABY’s call America
Do you know where you baby is America?
They are there on the internet America, going gay
On the chat rooms where America is misspelled Amercia
The Amer CIA, the CIA does not serve the Americans
Amercia it sounds Spanish, Mexicans Illegal
America itself sounds Spanish, it’s Italian
So dark and swarthy but we’re pure
We can never forget their tight jeans, the outline of their erect...
We can do it America
Booth it America—
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
Booth it or lose it America
MOVE IT America,
We’re stuck in theatre traffic
To apocalypse of John at Madison Square Garden
And we should have left earlier but we were busy
With our constitution reading group
Because it says right there what the founders wanted
And we do what our daddies want
Which was not to tax my flavored waters
Keep you hands off my body OBAMA
When you got your hands on me in my skin tight Jeans
In my teenage dream of America, stop touching me!
BOOTH IT AMERICA, you know what I mean
We’re here in the balcony watching My American Cousin
SEX SEMPER TYRANNUS
ALWAYS HAVE SEX WITH TYRANTS AMERICA
but leave them in the morning and erase your number from their phone
I’m Leaving America, you’ll never taste my guilt again America
Unless you BOOTH IT AMERICA
Like I said, vote
Vote in the Booth America
That’s all I meant America
AMERICA america................. AMERICA?